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RuneScape
RuneScape is a mediocre online RPG run by Jagex Software and originally intended as a social experiment to determine the conditions needed for the implementation of a totalitarian Communist state. Preconditions for playing RuneScape include a huge tolerance for boredom, a lack of awareness regarding basic human rights, and a basement into which sunlight is unable to penetrate; gameplay largely consists of 'grinding' (called such for the effect it has on one's will to live), PKing (consists mainly of being beaten with whips by half-naked transvestites), and questing. Controversially, Jagex reserve the right to ban not only players' RuneScape accounts, but also their membership of Real Life. History and Development Founding RuneScape was originally created by Andrew Gower, a graduate of Cambridge University only slightly more controverial than Nick Griffin (his own words). Having been a prominent member of the Communist Party of Great Britian, Gower already had a reputation for extremist views, social faliure, delusions of granduer, and proneness to fits of incoherent rage. After leaving the party in response to anger at a percieved lack of influence, he originally ran the game from his parents' basement (all stereotypes have a basis in reality) in Nottingham, UK, along with his brother Paul. The stated purpose of RuneScape was--though this was quickly concealed when, to Andrew's immense surprise, the game actually began to be played by human beings--to provide a form of protpype for a Communist society. He planned to alter the gameplay only slowly, and only after a substantial player base had been built up, reasoning that addressing players as 'comrade', converting chat into Newspeak, and redistributing every player's money into a central fund might prove slightly unpopular. Nevertheless, these remain his overall goals. Improvement Once RuneScape was firmly established as a popular MMORPG, Andrew decided to form a company in order to better administrate it. This organisation was known as 'Jagex' (for J'ava '''g'aming 'ex'pertsYou see? Even Jagex has a sense of humour) was created by wandering the streets of Nottingham at night, promising the homeless 'shelter' if they agreed to come with the brothers in the back of their van, and then chaining them to (stolen) desks and teaching Java through electro-therapy. Surprisingly, this technique proved rather successfull, though being remarkably similar to the recruitment methods of Tesco, Wal-mart, and the NHS, its results were not entirely unexpected. RuneScape expanded rapidly, and soon life expectancy at Jagex reachedn all-time high (six months). Using the extra c*p**lAn example of the chat filter used in RuneScape, Andrew decided to upgrade RuneScape to an entirely new version, naming the old game RuneScape Cl--'''Mod: RuneScape Classic does not exist. RuneScape classic never existed. Now get on with it. (Un)free Trade Proclamations Once RuneScape had reached a prominent place in the online gaming industry, Jagex decided the time was ripe to begin the wholesale implementation of wholesale Communism. On 10 December 2007, Jagex removed players' ability to trade items at a price of their own choosing, instead introducing a mandatory Grand Exchange, in which players are generously permitted to sell or buy a set quantity of any items they wish at a predeterimned price. The unpopularityCompletely ridiculous, I agree of the update caused a large number of players to turn to World of Warcraft, prompting Jagex to postpone the implementing of some of their more unthinkable Bolshevik policies. Future development Andrew Gower recently leaked in a news announcement that he planned to restrict all players to using a A limited choice of sentencesDoublepluss ungood by January 2011. Also on the agenda for Jagex is the addition of the Compulsory Wealth Redistribution System, a system whereby all coins in the game are collected to a central pool and shared equally amongst all players. Management As already mentioned, Jagex are now using RuneScape to observe the effects of imposing a totalitarian communist regime upon a society. They are therefore obliged to treat players with callous indifference and detachment, often exhibiting gross miscarriages of justice, such as muting players for "flooding the chatbox" when they begin to type. Indeed, this has reached such an extent that upon the arrival of a Jagex Moderator in any given server, the world is empty after an estimated time of twelve seconds. Player Moderators Player Moderators are players whom Jagex entrusts to wield certain powers for the good of the community. Said powers include faster responses to customer support queries, access to otherwise restricted forums and message boards, the ability to permanently or temporarily mute players, a feature that enables them to view players' homes through a spy-camera fitted in a mandatorily installed poster of Andrew Gower, diplomatic immunity, and License To Kill. Jagex recruit Player Moderators by monitoring the number of abuse reports received from players. Upon account creation all players are entered in a "Snitch League", in which the number of times they report instances of rule-breaking is tallied; each day, the top ten players on the list are selected for Modship. As the content and accuracy of the reports is disregarded as unimportant, it is not unheard of for players to become moderators within hours of completing the tutorial, simply by spam-clicking the 'report abuse' button in the corner of the screen; but the irony of this is somewhat lessened by the fact that majority of players quit within seconds anyway, meaning a relatively small number of reports need to be filed to reach the top of the league. Economy The Economy of RuneScape revolves around three basic principles: I Want It Now, I Want It Quick, and I Don't Care If I Lose Money. This base apathy has lead to the Grand Exchange, RuneScape's answer to Wall Street, selling items at only the lowest price margin and buying them at the highest. Naturally, therefore, items produced by players end up at a lower price than raw materials, meaning that almost any productive economic activity is not only dead, but buried six-hundred metres under a desecrated gravestone. Effects of Real-World Trading No matter what Jagex say on the matter, the frequency of gold-farming--a system wherein underpaid East-Asian youthes work in sweatshops to obtain online gold, then sell it for real money to hardcore geeks--has made RuneScape gold an accepted real world currency. One can take the password of a RuneScape account with money in the bank to any respectable bank and have it transfered into one's local currency. Jagex, spineless as they are away from their comfort zone, have yet to raise an objection. The irony of this situation is further highlighted when it is noted that as most gamers are obsessive enough to sacrifice basic amenities in order to continue gaming in the current economic climate, RuneScape's economy has gone from strength to strength at the Wall Street stock market. Indeed, in the economic year ending in ctober 2009 RuneScape's GNP was estimated to approximately 300% higher than that of Ethiopia. One RuneScape gp is currently valued at approximately 0.15 US cents, putting the value of the in-game bank of Zezima, RuneScape's most successful player, at approximately US $2,600,600.00: over seventy times what a typical Sudanese farmer earns in a lifetime. Community Category:Runescape Category:JaGEx